Team Fortress Blues Season 1: Recruitment
by Erstellung666
Summary: It was just an average day in Blood Gulch with both the Reds and Blues doing nothing. But when a new shipment of gear, a new recruit and several veterans join in, things may get out of hand then usual. Tf2 Classes Join in on the craziness of Rvb!
1. Why are we here?

Hello all, I once again am trying to start up what might be a great crossover. Had this idea in my head for quite a while and I am completely surprise that no one has done a crossover with these two considering how smiler they are with each other.

I had some help with making this story from BentleyGirl's Novelize version of Red vs Blue so some credit goes to her from this story.

Anyway here's the first chapter.

Tf2 and Rvb belong to their proper owners, I own nothing but the few changes made.

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_**Team Fortress Blues Season 1: Recruitment**_

_**Episode 1**_

_**Why are we here?**_

_Roses are red, Violets are blue_

_One day we're cruise down the Gulch avenue_

_It's Red vs Red, and Blue vs Blue_

_It's I against I, and Me against you_

One a distant planet, many light-years from Earth, in a small canyon know as Blood Gulch, two armies are poised for a great battle. Both were factions of Spartan-II super soldiers, coloured Red and Blue respectively; both had constructed a base in this one canyon and both had just one mission: take out the enemy and capture their flag. For many weeks, not much has happens, besides a minor death from a Aspirin overdose...and then one day...

On the roof of Red Base were two soldiers that was keeping watch. One solider was wearing a maroon coloured suit while the other one was wearing a orange one. For a while the two remained silent until the maroon soldier turned to the orange one a spoke. "Hey Grif..."

"Yeah Simmons?" The Orange Soldier replied.

"You ever wonder why we're here?" Simmons asked.

"That's one of life's great mysteries isn't it?" Grif replied, rubbing his chin in thought. "_Why_ are we here? I mean, are we a product of...some cosmic coincidence, or is there really god...watching everything? You know, with a plan for us or something...I don't know man...But it keeps me up at night."

Simmons stared at Grif in puzzlement and surprise at the words Grif spoke. "What? No, I meant, why are we out _here_ in this canyon?"

"Oh...Uh...yeah..."Grif murmured sheepishly.

"...What was all that stuff about God?" Simmons asked after a while.

"Uh...hmmm, nothing..." Grif replied, lowering his head.

Simmons was quite for a while till he spoke up again. "You wanna talk about it?"

Grif shook his head. "No..."

"You sure?" Simmons asked once more. Grif shook his head as he was sure.

"Seriously though, why _are_ we here?" Simmons asked recalling his original question. "As far as I can tell, it's just a box canyon in the middle of nowhere. No way in or out."

Grif only nodded silently as he listen to Simmons.

"The only reason that we set up a Red Base here, is because they have a Blue Base over there." Simmons said pointing at the other end of the canyon where the Blue base was.

"And the only reason they have a Blue Base over there, is because we have a Red Base here." Simmons told pointing at their own base.

"Yeah, but thats because we're fighting each other." Grif replied the reason they are fighting.

Simmons shook head. "No, no. But I mean, even if we were to pull out today, and if they would come take our base, they would have _two_ bases in the middle of a box canyon. Whoopdee-fucking-doo!"

Grif nodded his head in agreement. "What's up with that anyway? I mean, I signed on to fight some aliens. Next thing I know, Master Chief blows up the whole Covenant armada and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, fighting a bunch of blue guys!"

At that very moment, on a cliff overlooking the Red Base. Two of said Blue guys were spying on the Reds. One soldier, dressed in a cobalt blue suit was useing a sniper rifle to spy on the Reds, while his Teal-armored teammate stood on the sidelines.

"What're they doing, Church?" The Teal soldier asked, for the hundreath time that day and they've been there since mourning.

Chruch lowered the sniper rifle and slowly turned to face the Teal soldier. "What?"

"I said what're they doing now?" The Teal soldier asked once again.

"God damnit Tucker! I'm getting sick of awnsering that question!" Church snapped at Tucker.

"Hey you have the fucking sniper rifle, I can't see shit. Don't start to bitch at me because I'm not gonna just sit up here and play with my di-" Tucker resurted defencivly till he was interupted by Church.

"Okay, okay, look... they're just standing there and talking, okay? That's all they're doing. That's all they _ever_ do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing when you asked me five minutes ago. So, five minutes from _now_, when you ask me, "What are they doing?" my answer's gonna be, "They're still just talking, and they're still just standing there." Chruch explained to Tucker agressively.

The two remained silent for a while till Tucker glanced at the reds and spoke. "What are they talking about?"

Church groawled and glared at Tucker. "You know what...I fucking hate you..."

Back at the red base, Grif kicked a small stone in frusteration. "Talk about a waste of resources. I mean, we should be out there finding new and intelligent forms of life.. you know, fight them."

"Yeah, no shit. Thats why they put us in charge." Simmon said with a gruff sigh.

Just then a booming voice, belonging to the two reds sergeant, echoed at the bases bottem level. "LADIES! Front and Centre on the double!"

But Grif and Simmons swore when they heard their commanding officer call for them. "Fuck" "Yes sir!" The two then went to meet their commanding officer.

O-O-O

(_Insert TF2~Archimedes_)

Meanwhile in the air was a large red plane flying towards Blood Gulch. Inside were four figures talking amonst themselves.

The sound of someone talking in druken gribberish can be heard among those voices.

"Dang Nabbit! What did I tell ya about drinking aboard the plane!" A southern voice scolded the drunken person.

"I'm Drunk! You don't have an exscuse! Zzzz..." The drunken voice replied and apparently fell asleep.

"Dummkopf! Of course hez not gonning to litzen to you. Hez iz...schtupid!" A german voice was heard in a angry tone.

"_Burp!_ Zzzz...Zzzz..." Both the germen and southern voices did a face palm at the druken man.

The southern man turned to look at the fourth person who was playing with a lighter. "Becareful there partner. Don't want to go sending the whole plane of fire...again."

The fourth person was quite but nodded in agreement to the southern guy and put the lighter away.

Meanwhile on the opposite side of the air in a blue verson of the plan, five other figure were also talking.

"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!' Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a _little_ more about fighting than _you_ do, men, because he invented it!" A gruff commanding voice was lectureing the rest to the team members when he was interupted by one of them

"Did he invent the snooz botton too, cause your putting us to sleep! Hahaha!" A person with a Boston voice interupted and laughed with two other people in there.

The gruff voiced snear at the Boston one and went up to his face. "Did I ask you for your oppinon MAGGOT!"

"No, but might I make a suggestion? Two words...Breath, Mint! HA-!" The laughing was silence with a shovel being smacked across the Boston's voice face, knocking him out.

"Does anyone else have something to say?" The gruff voice asked the three remaining people.

"Uh, don't you think that was a bit far, mate? I mean the bloke was just having some fun?" An Australian voice told the gruff one in a calming tone.

"Da, little man iz just bored as is Heavy. He is just looking for the fun." A russian voice followed up with the Australian voice.

"Don't give me that attitude! You think those dirty reds are going to let us by with _fun_? NO SIR! They will attack us when we lest expect it!"

(_End music_)

As the gruff voice was lectureing the other two men, the final person was leaning aginst a wall in the shadows. Seamingly talking to a radio on his watch.

"I will be arriveing to Blood Gulch within ze hour..." A french voice said while talking to the person on the other side of his radio.

"Do not worry, I shall keep an eye on it and act when the time comes...Of course. Spy...out."


	2. Red get a Delivery

Okay just a heads up, as you seen from the last chapter it pretty much went the same as the normal RvB except for the end. This chapter is going to be pretty much then same. But the next one is going to be where the real changes happened. Despite the changes this story is going to follow the usual plot, with the Freelancers and the A.I's. So bare with me till then.

Also sorry if there are a lot of mistakes, my word program is crap and doesn't use spell check properly...Stupid program.

Anyway once again credit goes to BentlyGirl for allowing me to use her novel version of RvB to help make this story.

Tf2 and Rvb belong to their proper owners, I own nothing but the few changes made.

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_**Team Fortress Blues Season 1: Recruitment**_

_**Episode 2**_

_**Red get a Delivery**_

Grif and Simmons hurried down the base's ramp and round to the front of the base where their commanding officer was waiting. Their Sergeant, also known as Sarge, was also dressed in the standard suit of MJOLNIR armour, coloured in standard issue red of a high-ranking officer and covered in dents and scratches of a veteran who has seen many battles against the Covenant over the years.

"Hurry up ladies! This ain't no Ice-cream social!" Sarge bellowed as the two soldier approached him.

"Ice-cream social?" Simmons question as both him and Grif looked confused.

"Stop the pillow talk, you two. Anyone want to guess why I gathered you here today?" Sarge inquiringly his two troops.

"Ummm, is it because to wars over?" Grif asked, hoping it was true.

Sarge glared angrily at Grif under his visor as he started talking in a mocking tone. "That's exactly it, Private. War's over, we won. Turns out you're a _BIG_ hero and we're gonna hold a parade in yer honour...I get to drive the float and Simmons is in charge OF _CONFETTI_!"

"I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir." Grif said in a deadpan tone.

"God dammit, private! Shut your mouth, or I'll have Simmons slit your throat while your asleep!" Sarge snapped at Grif.

"O-oh, I'll do it too." Simmons said as he chuckled evilly.

"I know you would Simmons, good boy." Sarge then cleared his throat and returned to the subject at hand. "Couple a' things today ladies. Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here in Blood Gulch Outpost #1!"

"Crap, we're getting a rookie." Grif groaned.

"That's right, Dead man! Not only that but we are getting some transfers from another base. Veterans if you will. The new recruit will be here within the week while the veterans will be here within today at some time. Hopefully they will know more about being a proper solider then some of us?" Sarge said as he glared at Grif at the end of his sentence.

"Let's just hope Sarge will hate one of them more then me." Grif mumble hoping for some one else to take Sarges death threats besides him.

"I highly doubt that." Simmons told, bring Grif hopes down.

"Yeah but a guy can dream..." Grif said with a depressed sigh.

"Anyway not only are we getting new members, but today we've received our first part of our shipment from command."

Grif and Simmons exchanged nervous looks. "Lopez, bring in the vehicle!"

At Sarges command a engine loud roar was heard. Soon a huge armour-plated jeep-like vehicle with a turret mounted on the back came barrelling over the hill and pulled up next to the three soldiers. Inside it was a Spartan in brown armour.

"Shotgun!" Simmons cried out first.

"Shotgun! Fuck!" Grif cried out second and swore for being a split second too late.

"Gentlemen, may I introduce our new, light reconnaissance vehicle!" Sarge introduced as he walked up to the vehicle.

"It has four inch armor plating..." Sarge said as he tapped his fist on the plating.

"Mag bumper suspension..." Sarge said as he kicked lightly the bumpers.

"A mounted machine gunner position..." Sarge said as he smoothed his hand on the guns barrel slowly.

"And total seating for four. Gentlemen, this is the M12 LRV! I like to call it the Warthog." Sarge said proudly in front of the vehicle.

Grif and Simmons traded looks of confusion. "Why Warthog, sir?" Simmons asked.

"Because M12 LVR is to hard to say in a conversation, son!" Sarge told impatiently.

"I know, but why _Warthog_? I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig." Grif asked and he could tell it didn't go well with his chef in charge.

Sarge remianed quite for a while till he spoke. "Say that again..."

"I think it looks more like a puma." Grif commanted.

"What in Sam Hell is a puma!" Sarge asked, his angery boiling up.

"Uh, you mean like the shoe company?" Simmons asked, trying to understand what Grif ment.

"No, like a puma. It's a big cat, like a lion." Grif said, trying to explain to his to comrades.

Sarge remained silent as he stared at Grif in disbelief. "...You're making that up."

"I'm telling you, it's a real animal!" Grif insited that he was telling the truth.

"Simmons, I want you to poison Grif next meal!" Sarge ordered.

"Yes, sir!" Simmons replied with a salute.

"Looks, see these two hooks? They look like tusk. And what animal has tusk?" Sarge asked as he kneel down in fron to the vehicle and pointed at the hooks.

"...A walrus." Grif replied nonchalantly.

"Didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals?!" Sarge shouted back angrily.

Meanwhile the Reds were bickering amongst themselves, The blues were still spying on them from the cliff side.

"What is that thing?" Tucker asked curiosly.

Chruch lowered the sniper rifle as he spoke. "I don't know, man. Looks like uh...looks like they've got some sorta car down there. We'd better get back to base and report it."

"A car?! How come they get a car?!" Tucker cried out, taken back by the Reds haveing a car.

Church turned and faced Tucker in disbelief. "What are you complaining about, man? We're about to get a tank in the very next drop."

Tucker lowered his head and muttered. "You can't pick chicks in a tank..."

Church rolled his eye's agitated at his teammate. "Oh, you know what? You could bitch about anything couldn't you? We're going to get a tank, and you're worried about chicks. What chicks are we gonna pick up, man? And secondly, how are you gonna pick up chicks in a car that looks like that?"

Tucker remained quite from Churches rant as he looked at the car. Then he looked back at Church. "What kind of car is it?"

Church went back to being calm as he looked down the snipers scope. "I dunno, I've never seen a car like that before. It looks like a...uh...like a big cat or something..."

"What like a puma?" Tucker asked.

Church nodded in agreemnt. "Yeah, man. There you go."

Down belwo with the reds. Their argument was getting heated when Sarge fired his shot gun at the ground near Grif. The blast silienced the two privates and lucky for Grif the shot was an inc away from his foot.

"So unless anybody has anymore mythical creatures to suggest as a name for the new vehicle, we're going to stick with the Warthog. How about it, Grif?" Sarge asked as hi aimed his shotgun at Grif.

"No, sir...No more suggestions..." Grif muttered meekly.

"Are you sure? How about Bigfoot?" Sarge teased as he pushed Grif sligthly with his guns barrel.

"It's okay..." Grif replied.

"Unicorn?"

"No, really, I'm cool..."

"Sasquatch?"

Simmons was about to make a myth suggestion himself when he heard somthing. He looked up and saw a small black dot in the sky that was getting bigger. "Umm, sir?"

However Simmons was ignored as Sarge was still making fun of Grif.

"Phoenix?" Sarge coninued his teasing.

"Oh, christ..." Grif sighed as he shook his head.

"Sir?" Simmons tried to get his commanding officers attention as the black object ws getting even bigger.

"Hey Simmions, what's the name of that mexican lizard? Eats all the goats?" Sarge asked Simmons, not letting Grif go any time soon.

"Uh, that would be the Chupacabra, sir. But I think you should-" However Simmons was intrupted as Sarge went back to teasing Grif.

"Hey Grif! Chupa-thingy, how 'bout that?! I like it, gotta nice ring to it." Sarge yelled followed by laughing hard.

"Kill me now..." Grif sighed when he started to hear the same thing as Simmons. Along with Sarge who heard it too. The two soldiers looked up to see a giant metal box falling down towards them.

"Son of a bitch!" Simmons shouted as he hightailed it from there.

"Son of a Bitch!" Grif shouted as he ran for his life inside the Red base.

"SON OF A BICTH!" Sarge cried at as he jumped out of the way in time for the crate to crash right where he was standing.

Meanwhile the Blues were watching what happend from their hidout from the cliffs.

"Holy crap!" Chruch examinded as he lowered the sniper rifle.

"What? What happend, all I saw was an explotion of somekind." Tuck asked angrily that he couldn't see shit.

"A large metal crate just fell on top of the Reds. I wonder any of them got squshed." Chruch asked himself as he looked back down the Scope.

"You think it could be another car? Or maybe they got themselves their own tank. Or maybe it's filled with incredible hot chicks just waiting to have-" Lucky Tucker was interupted by Chuch yelling at him.

"Tucker, shut the fuck up! I'm trying to see." Church shouted as the dust started to settle at the Red base.

"_Cough, cough! _Is everyone acounted for? And is any certain orange soldiers squshed?" Sarge Asked his men as he waved his hand to clear the dust.

"_Sigh_, all present and accounted for, sir." Grif sighed as he walked backout side. Simmons picked himself up as he hid behind a small hill.

"_Grrr_, well whatever, we're worry about your death later. Right now, what in same dickins is this thing?" Sarge asked as the three soldiers lined up in front of the giant red metal crate with a symbol that said '_RED_' on it. The sound of somthing moving inside could be heard.

"Huh, wonder if there is a puma inside." Grif said, more of a joke then anything else.

"Do you really want to go through with that again dirtbag..." Sarge growled as he aimed his shotgun at Grifs head.

"I'll be quiet now."

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Well there you go, bit different then the usual episode. Next chapter is where we introduce the tf2 groups, both red and blue, so be patient till then.


End file.
